This morning, while waiting for class(es) to start, fretting about the confluence between Martian warming, maps of sea-monsters, and butterscotch-flavored coffee, I realized how much I must relish that sense of stress, test of my extemporaneous ability. No time to plan ahead, just discover right then and there what sort of facts are careening around my brain and how well I can extract and communicate them. (Think trying to locate electrons in an atomic "cloud.")(Doing so apparently involves lots of arm-waving, digressions, and diagrams.)
The challenge! the importance! more than just floating along, drifting away, a waterfall! the roar, the mist, the splendor!
It's like insomnia (bear with me, I'm in "synthesis mode," do believe I might actually have just told people that understanding global climate change involves understanding The Grand Theory of Everything) -- really, it's a terrible habit, but when you find yourself waking up at 2 a.m. again wondering about the universe, you can't do anything but smile and shake your head and pick up a book on cognition. Same as when you find yourself telling people that there's obviously some innate human love of moving large rocks (evidence: Stonehenge, Easter Island, your grandfather's perennial battle with concretions on the lakeshore)(scientific theories must always have three examples to make them sound), you again can't do anything but smile and shake your head. Or when you find yourself interrupting your own typing with parenthetical comments. (Sorry.)(No, not really, that's how I think. Abstract references make the point hard to follow, but at the same time are the point -- such delight, inspiration, color in chaos.)
Apparently a significant proportion of humans dream in black and white? I find that sad. I dream in full color, and smell, touch, taste, sound as well. Sometimes makes it hard to separate the real from imagined, but why would anyone want to?
Hooray for the parentheses, exclamation points, question marks, commas, and dot dot dots of life...